Leave a comment

Nice Rack!

When I think about attraction and courting I laugh and remember family trips to Colorado and watching the Elk mating season in the rocky monitions.  The alpha male is the physically superior but definitely has the biggest rack (horns), The rack needs to symmetrical. If one side is damaged he has trouble attracting mates and usually backs down from the other males.  The Alpha bull can have up to 20 cows and the loser walks away alone. It’s Darwinian breeding live!    Are human females the same?  Do they all want the Alpha Male?  Yes and no….

So for women, like men (and ELK) symmetry has a lot to do with attraction.   Physical prowess is important.  This ensures strong, disease free genes to pass on.   Physical health in mating partners can also mean protection from predators.  Females can’t very well raise young if they are being attacked. Just like in animals human females are attracted sexually to “alpha males” for breeding but after good genes, security is important and in our world that means financial security.  Again you can’t raise off spring properly if you are homeless.  So yes most women prefer men who are financially stable.  Our alpha Male may be the one with the biggest wallet.

In one study attraction was broken down into 3 parts- Proximity – We are most likely to fall in love with someone who we see frequently.     Similarity -We fall for people who we feel share the same level of attractiveness we see in ourselves and share our attitudes, values and interests.   Reciprocity – We fall for people who like us back.  (Bryne, 1971)

So ladies next time you feel that tingle of attraction at whole foods for the hot guy behind you in line, is it just human biology talking?  Or when you see a guy in a nice car is he attractive to you because that means security?  Maybe….  Attraction is complicated but it pales in comparison to what comes next- LOVE!   Stay Tuned


Leave a comment

Perform or be gone!

Men are obviously fixated on performance. Performance in athletics, the job, and of course in the bedroom. Sexual performance can be rewarding but can also be a source of pressure and discontentment and of course women play a part here too. In this three-part blog we will discuss sexual performance by looking at what “normal” performance is. We’ll investigate what happens physiologically when we are aroused, then see what happens when that performance diminishes. Lastly how do we improve our sex lives? Read on for tips on making her squeal! but also how to manage out collective expectations. Let’s first look into what happens as we are aroused and how that translates into an erection. I’ve chosen three major players and contributors to physiological male sexual response. The earliest is Havelock Ellis in the early 20th century. He proposed a two-stage model of build up and release. We all can relate to that right? In the 50s and 60s masters and Johnson, (Currently being depicted in the ShowTime series, “Maters of Sex”), Wrote books about a 4-stage model: Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm and Arousal. Then came Helen Singer Kaplan in 77, right in time for the sexual revolution and added a component of desire. Other research has been done to expose the psychological aspects of arousal and response but for now lets focus on the physicality of getting turned on and getting an erection.

Mens’ bodies really kick into gear when that someone turns us on! As we are Aroused, the brain activates the central and autonomic nervous system and metabolic rates increase. Hormonal outputs include testosterone, serotonin and dopamine. All regulated perfectly. Ever wonder why when interrupted during sexual arousal you are slow to respond and feel out of it? …. Simply put, you are high on the bodies’ own internal drugs!!

Next the neuropathways play a part by increasing blood flow to the main cavities of the penis called the corpora cavernosa and corpus spongiosum. The release of nitric oxide contributes to the vasodilation of this tissue by relaxing smooth muscles to let the blood in. To prevent venous leakage the I and B muscles, (you really want it? Ok … Ischioavernisus and Bulbospongiosus- whew! ) contract keeping the blood in the penis for intercourse. Yikes there is a lot going on in men when we are aroused and even more going to obtain and maintain an erection. And this is obviously just scratching the surface.