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The Reality of Sex Robots

An article in the May 2015 publication of Vanity Fair, entitled “Dawn of the Sexbot”, discusses the rapid growth of the company, Realdolls and predicts that men having sex with dolls and robots will increase in our future. Realdoll makes the world’s best sex dolls.  Olivia_RD2C2_4They are so realistic that David Mills, who purchased the company in the early 2000’s, thought that the website was created with pictures of actual models made up to look like dolls. He was right. To research this article I perused the website and it felt like I was watching porn. Gone are the days of the novelty blow ups, thrown around like beach balls at bachelor parties and the price tag is no joke, they start at $6,000. Vince Neil, of Motley Crue, is reported to have spent 15k on his deluxe edition. Howard Stern had sex on air, with a Realdoll, and said it was the best sex he has ever had.

The dolls average100lbs/ 5 feet. They are made from molded silicon said to feel like real human skin. They have arms and legs that can be manipulated into a myriad of positions. You can buy a standard model or make your own- customizing everything from eyeliner to pubic hair. Many predict a future that goes beyond this. Realdoll is designing models that have robotics- Massaging genitals, vocal responses and simulated orgasms in response to manipulation. So how far out are sex-robots? In 2006 DR. Henrik Christensen, the chairman of the European Robotics Network at the Royal Institute of Technology, at the University if Stockholm, predicted that humans would be having sex with robots in the next five years. In his Book, Love and Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human- Robot Relationships, David Levy professed that by 2050 robots will have the capacity make themselves romantically attractive, desirable, and able to fall in love with humans. Right in line with these predictions are two films that have protagonists navigating relationships with AI (artificial intelligence) females. In last year’s film HER (Starring Joaquin Phoenix and Amy Adams) our hero falls in love with a program (voiced by Scarlett Johansen) that is designed to interpret his emotional needs. Although they have only a vocal relationship, Phoenix’s character falls in love  exmachina This month the film Ex Machina (a play on the Latin phrase: deus ex machina, “a god from the machine”) tells the story of a misanthropic internet genuis who hires a research assistant to administer a Turing test to a female robot. The test subject is an attractive, emotionally intelligent android named Ava, (played by Alicia Vikander). “She” actualizes humanity by –Spoiler Alert– using her femininity to manipulate her examiners into getting what she wants; freedom. Hmmm…A female using her guile to get what she wants from men…?? I could have written that movie about my time in Hollywood, but I digress.

Is this technological progress or an abrogation of our sexual mores? Are we living in a time of de-humanization? We have to admit that we are more disconnected than ever. Half of the communication of people under the age of 25 is texted. We are programmed to get exactly what we want when we want, with-out human interaction. ubiquitous free pornography is a key swipe away. Our experiences are validated by “selfies” and how many “likes” we get. How do we actually meet each other anymore? People at Starbucks, glued to phone screens, look away only to grab their double, non fat,carmel, Frappuccinos. It’s no wonder our grandparents stayed married. They didn’t meet on-line and they never logged on to Ashley Madison to have an affair because they met on a street in Paris, in person, and fell in love while fighting WW2. In this age of digital immediacy it begs the question- Are we falling out of human connectedness or are we reverting back to our biological inheritance? Perhaps men long for the origins of emotionless sex. Our genetics dictate that we inseminate as many females as possible. When we were nomadic hunters we took females by force and got laid without having to go to Chevy’s and a Nicholas Sparks film. I wonder, If you got men to be REALLY honest and asked them if they could have sexual gratification without the hassles of emotional entanglements- what would they say?

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Whats Wrong With Me? What to do about low desire

Last week, Sprout Pharmaceuticals resubmitted its drug flibanserin to the Food and Drug Administration for approval. Flibanserin, in case you haven’t heard, is a drug intended to treat low sexual desire in women. The F.D.A. has rejected it twice already, and will most likely reject it a third time because (if you’re Sprout) the F.D.A. is sexist or (if you’re the F.D.A.) the drug doesn’t work and isn’t safe.

But the biggest problem with the drug — and with the F.D.A.’s consideration of it — is that its backers are attempting to treat something that isn’t a disease.

Flibanserin purportedly treats a condition called hypoactive sexual desire disorder in women. But H.S.D.D. was removed from the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 2013, and replaced with a new diagnosis called female sexual interest/arousal disorder, or F.S.I.A.D.

Why the change? Researchers have begun to understand that sexual response is not the linear mechanism they once thought it was. The previous model, originating in the late ’70s, described a lack of “sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity.” It placed sexual desire first, as if it were a hunger, motivating an individual to pursue satisfaction. Desire was conceptualized as emerging more or less “spontaneously.” And some people do feel they experience desire that way. Desire first, then arousal.

But it turns out many people (perhaps especially women) often experience desire as responsive, emerging in response to, rather than in anticipation of, erotic stimulation. Arousal first, then desire.

Both desire styles are normal and healthy. Neither is associated with pain or any disorder of arousal or orgasm.

The new diagnosis is intended for women who lack both spontaneous and responsive desire, and are distressed by this. For these women, research has found that nonpharmaceutical treatments like sex therapy can be effective.

But I can’t count the number of women I’ve talked with who assume that because their desire is responsive, rather than spontaneous, they have “low desire”; that their ability to enjoy sex with their partner is meaningless if they don’t also feel a persistent urge for it; in short, that they are broken, because their desire isn’t what it’s “supposed” to be.

What these women need is not medical treatment, but a thoughtful exploration of what creates desire between them and their partners. This is likely to include confidence in their bodies, feeling accepted, and (not least) explicitly erotic stimulation. Feeling judged or broken for their sexuality is exactly what they don’t need — and what will make their desire for sex genuinely shut down.

Apparently we still haven’t learned our lesson about what happens when we pathologize normal sexual functioning.

In a 1972 issue of The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, the neurologist Robert G. Heath reported that he had recorded the brain activity of a young man suffering from epilepsy and “severe mental illness,” including “a five-year history of overt homosexuality.

The patient had electrodes implanted in his cortex, which was then thought to control pleasure. He was given a “three-button self-stimulating” device, with which he could zap his own brain for three hours at a time — which he did, about once every 10 seconds. Researchers showed him stag films (read: porn), introduced him to a female prostitute and measured his brain activity during heterosexual intercourse. Dr. Heath said the treatment was effective.

A year later, homosexuality was voted out of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. Now, of course, only a fringe minority of the medical community would suggest that sexual orientation is anything other than a normal aspect of human sexuality.

This analogy between desire style and sexual orientation is imperfect: There is no reason to suspect that responsive or spontaneous desire is innate. In fact all desire is somewhat responsive, even when it feels spontaneous. But Dr. Heath and Sprout are both part of the long history of trying to call “diseased” what is simply different.

When a woman experiencing responsive desire comes to understand how to make the most of her desire, she opens up the opportunity for greater satisfaction. Outdated science isn’t going to improve our sex lives. But embracing our differences — working with our sexuality, rather than against it — will.

(From NY Times)

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Hookers – The first feminists?

In the nineteenth century, a woman who was well paid, owned property, had sex outside of marriage, performed/received oral sex, used birth control, wore makeup, perfume or stylish clothes and didn’t hide it, was probably a prostitute. In a time when women were barred from most jobs and had no legal right to own property, prostitutes of the old west were very successful and respected. Thaddeus Russell, in his book, A Renegade History of the United States, proves that marginalized people, (like hookers) not discussed in history class, were the real catalysts for important social movements. His contention is that fin-de-siècle prostitutes who migrated out west were the pioneers of feminism.

In late 19th and early 20th century, women could only work in a couple of industries. A 1916 study by the US department of labor reported that the two major occupations for women in the country were department store clerking and light manufacturing. Both paid an average weekly salary of $6.67, barely enough to subsist. Other choices for women to become financially stable were: 1.Break the inequality 2. Marry into money. Charlotte Perkins Gilman, a leading feminist of her time, noted that human beings are the only species in that one sex lives entirely dependent upon the other for existence.

A perfect place to challenge this status quo was the “Wild West.” In 1850, the non-Indian population of California was 93% male. Entrepreneurial women with moral inequities saw an opportunity. Sex workers came to the west and quickly became the highest paid women in the US. Many salaries were double what male trade union workers made. Historian Paula Petrick found that approximately 60% of hookers in Helena, Montana between 1865 and 1870, “reported either personal wealth or property or both.” The most successful prostitutes in the country became “Madams”. They bought mansions, turned them into brothels and managed the business of sex. Madams were some of the wealthiest people in the country and were pillars of their society. They lent money to cities like Denver and San Francisco for land grants or water rights, entered into politics and were instrumental in the developments of the towns they did business in.

Black women thrived as well. It is unlikely that there were more wealthy or powerful black women in the nineteenth- century than Mary Ellen “Mammy” Pleasant and Sarah B. “Babe” Connors. Pleasant, an ex-slave, gave loans to elite San Francisco residents. She sued to desegregate the city’s street cars, 60 years before Rosa Parks, making her the mother of the human rights struggle in California. Connors’ brothels were some of the most luxurious establishments in the mid-west. They became nationally famous for ragtime jazz musicians that would play there.

Madams not only paid their workers far higher wages than most other industries, they were the first to provide benefits for employees including free birth control, healthcare, legal assistance, housing and meals. Few American workers from either sex enjoyed such benefits. When moral reformers tried to outlaw birth control, hookers single handedly kept the industry alive. In the 1870s, 5% to 10% of women in American cities were prostitutes. They made up the majority of birth control consumers. Consequently, the industry was kept alive until 1920 when contraception production and distribution was legalized.

Between 1909 and 1917, 31 states passed “red-light abatement” laws allowing courts to shut down buildings used for immoral purposes. This lead to laws forbidding the keeping of a “disorderly house” or in any way managing prostitutes as a madam. This forced prostitutes onto the streets and arrests for street-walkers skyrocketed across the nation. This also allowed the entry of pimps. Without brothels and madams, whores were forced into the “protection” of criminals. With the banishment of red light areas in cities, prostitution moved from an industry of female power to male power. It’s been a hundred years and not much has changed. Whores are subjected to the mistreatment of pimps and organized crime, resulting in violence and sexual slavery.

Gone are the days of sex workers being respected members of society and what they did to foreshadow the feminist movement is mostly forgotten… but here are some more of their contributions-

Equal Pay: Most prostitutes were paid higher than most men during this time.
Self-defense: Women in brothels were known to carry pistols and defend themselves.
Wearing Make – up: The “rouge” of a “painted woman” was seen as immoral and promoting vice.
Wearing Perfume: Until 1929 mostly prostitutes and “Low level” women used perfume.
Dancing in Public: Any overtly sexual dancing was considered practice of blacks and prostitutes.
Smoking: No respectable women would smoke and would hide it if they did.
Stylish Clothes: Only whores wore the color red which was taboo during this time and was considers the color of sex. They also wore scandalous clothes that showed their calves and shoulders.
Oral Sex: Sodomy laws in 48 states forbade fellatio even for married until the 1950’s. Sex outside of marriage was rare unless it was with a whore.
Entertainment: Ragtime, the precursor to Jazz, was mainly played in brothels in the west.
Integrated Workplace: Towns of the early west were integrated. No more seen then in brothels where workers were multi-cultural and interracial sex was commonplace.
Occupational Benefits: Brothels were one of the only places where workers were able to have health benefits such as free birth control and regular paid doctor visits.


Being GAY is defintely a choice!

Confession time.

To all of my Christian brothers and sisters who insist that homosexuality is a choice, I need to break down and finally admit something: I agree with you.

I believe that it absolutely is a choice too, only not in the way that you may have meant.

But I guess that’s largely the crux of the problem we have here. I think you use your terms too loosely without really thinking them through. When you say quite matter-of-factly that homosexuality is a choice, I’m not sure you really know in that moment, just what you mean by “homosexuality”.

Far too often Christian, when you make the statement that being gay is a sin, what you’re really doing without realizing it is reducing all LGBT people down to a sex act — as if that alone defines sexuality.

You’re denying any emotional component in their lives, any capacity to feel real love or show genuine affection toward someone else.

In a gross oversimplification, you’re labeling a complex, fully formed human being as merely a performer of intercourse.

That’s something you would never do with heterosexuality, and especially not with your own sexuality, because you understand implicitly that your sexual orientation is about much more than a physical act. It’s a much deeper part of who you are than that.

It’s about far greater things than just plumbing and gymnastics.

You know that in your own life, the physical act of sex isn’t the totality of your sexuality — that it is also about affection and companionship and the desire to love and be loved. It’s about who you are drawn to and attracted to and compelled to be close to.

In your own story, you experienced those things firsthand before you ever thought about or experienced the act of intercourse. In those moments when you first began to understand your own sexual identity, it snuck up on you and surprised you. There was likely no internal battle, no great wrestling, no real conscious choice to be made.

It was not a decision that you came to, but a realization.

As a third grader, I remember we used to play tag on the school playground during recess — the boys against the girls. (They, after all had “girl germs”, so you had to avoid them lest you be touched and immediately infected). One sunny afternoon, a girl named Lori chased me across the steaming blacktop. Something hit me as we ran breathlessly through the school yard. I suddenly started to realize that I didn’t want to get away from Lori that much anymore. In fact, I sorta wanted her to catch me!

In that moment, there was no decision (other than the decision to start running a whole lot slower).

After that, the journey of the coming weeks and months and years was about more and more being revealed and uncovered over time — never a bit of it chosen.

Christian, you probably recall this in your own story of sexual identity and self discovery don’t you? You simply felt naturally and quite involuntarily, the impulses you felt.

By following those impulses you were making a choice, too. You were choosing to be authentic and true to your heart and mind’s leading. You were choosing to agree with the truth about how you loved. The alternative would never have been an option.

Why is it so hard for you to believe that LGBT people are operating any differently?

It’s rather careless to treat the gay community as if they are choosing their path of orientation, because what you’re implying when you do so, is that they are naturally wired to be straight but are making the conscious decision to act in direct opposition to this. You are charging them with the most profound emotional treason.

Does that line of thinking work at all if you superimpose it onto your own life? That would mean that you could just as easily be gay as straight; that you could, with enough cajoling and suggestion and support and prayer — choose to be attracted to, desiring of, and aroused by someone of the same sex.

Regardless of many Christians’ attempts to claim otherwise, two LGBT human beings involved in a committed loving relationship are not damaged by one another. They are, as with loving heterosexual relationships, encouraged, challenged, enriched and supported by one another. (If you don’t want to take my word for it, ask them).

We can no longer ignore this critical distinction when we toss around our blanket statements about the gay community. It’s time that we who claim both Christianity and heterosexuality, ask some very difficult questions about what we really mean when we say that homosexuality is a choice, and that this choice is a sin.

When we use these words in this very limited and narrow way, we’re also assuming that our own inclination, toward not just sex, but affection, intimacy, companionship, romance, and love, are all within our control and alterable — that they involve decision on any level.

We’re also assuming that anytime we have sexual relations with someone, that it is always an activity disconnected from and devoid of love. If we choose that path, we’re opening up our own expansive sexuality up to the prospect of being reduced down to solely the act of intercourse.

Further, we need to look at the Scriptures we so easily throw at the LGBT community and ask whether those handful of verses really refer to a person with beautiful inclinations toward love and affection and companionship, or whether they just refer to someone doing something with their body parts, and also ask how we apply those verses to actual flesh-and-blood human beings seeking authentic relationships.

What did the Bible writers reference when they used the words translated as “homosexuality”? (No such word existed when it was written, so this is a crucial question to ask and seek to answer well).

In this very important conversation where words do matter, we also need to jettison useless ones.

There is no such thing as a “heterosexual lifestyle”, just as there is no homosexual lifestyle. These terms have no real meaning or value. They speak no truth about any of us. They serve no purpose but to demean people and insult them and avoid respectful dialogue.

We should throw them in the garbage and dare to ask the much more difficult questions about how love and affection and intimacy and sex are connected — in all of us.

As straight individuals, we can’t demand to be drawn with great detail and precision, while simultaneously grossly caricaturing the LGBT community. Their hearts are as vast as our own, and their stories filled with all the nuance and complexity that we have experienced in ours.

Yes, LGBT people are absolutely making a choice.

They are choosing to be the most honest, authentic versions of themselves. They are choosing to be led by the unfiltered direction of their hearts, just as you and I are. They are choosing to relent to the things that in all of our lives, never can be chosen.

The only relevant choices for straight Christians are whether or not we will treat the LGBT community as fully complex, intelligent, emotionally intricate human beings; and whether or not we will be willing to examine both our personal opinions and our theology accordingly.

The choice is ours.

(From Huffington Post)

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The Most Terrifying Woman In Hollywood

Lake Bell complained to Sam Jones in an interview recently that she gets derided by men who ask her, if she wants to be taken seriously, why pose naked? lake_bell_by_smutbroker-d7yp2t3Her response is that it’s artistic and beautiful and it makes her feel sexy. She went on to explain that showing off her sexuality should in no way detract from her being an intelligent woman. In 2012 Bell wrote, directed and starred in “In a World”.  The film has strangely garnered cult status in Hollywood because it literally came out of nowhere. Bell did not even tell her agents she was working on it until was done. The film won best screenplay at the 2013 Sundance Film Festival, (her 2nd film at Sundance). Everyone involved in “…a World”, didn’t even think it would be accepted. Sam Jones ended the interview by saying “Everyone is Hollywood is wondering what Lake Bell will do next”

My father, a witty college professor, used to tell attractive women that held his attention that “Beauty and brains is a dangerous combination”. Lake Bell is a sexual nuclear bomb designed by a nuclear scientist- dangerous doesn’t cover it. Her verbal acuity is matched only by her locker-room humor. When asked about her early modeling career, she hesitated and said, “Boobs, boobs and more boobs, lots of boobs” -on being pregnant,pregnant “Its sucks, you get the hangover without the tequila” She’s the woman every guy wants to do shots with and hopefully sleep with. And every woman wants to….. Well do the same.

Throughout history men have been accusatory of women with sexual power. Eve kicked us out of the “Garden”, Helen’s beauty was cause of the Trojan War and Cleopatra was killed after she seduced the two most powerful men in the world. American culture is still trying to decipher how and why Marilyn Monroe’s sexuality led to her demise. Camille Paglia says that beautiful women are always scrutinized and harassed. In her book, Sexual Personae, she states that men honor but fear women. “A woman’s sexuality is tied to nature and can’t be denied”, (menstruation, child birth) “Woman’s centrality gives her a stability of identity. She does not have to become but only to be.” She goes on to say that man’s identity is dependent on her acceptance of him which breeds male anxiety.


“In a World” where Muslim women are forced to wear restrictive clothing, African and Indian women are subjected to commonplace sexual crimes, Hollywood has embraced this powerful neo-feminist in a way that is unprecedented. Throughout it all she has stuck to her guns, and has become one of the most talked about film makers in America. What makes Lake Bell frightening is her ability “to be”.


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Plans To Go Trans

Let the debacle begin. In an interview slated to air April 24, Bruce Jenner will sit down with Diane Sawyer to discuss his decision to become a woman. TMZ reports the interview will discuss his life’s journey and what lead him to announce his “transitioning” now. He will also supposedly discuss how he has identified as female since he was a young child. The three ring circus consists of: 1) His involvement in the hugely popular reality show ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians”, 2) The fact the he was the epitome of “maleness” and world famous for winning the gold medal in the decathlon and


3) The backlash of the transgendered community.
The LGBT community has been better represented in the past few years in the media and on television. Ellen DeGeneres hosted the Academy awards, Glee and Pretty Little Liars have gay leads and Last year the Supreme Court ruled in favor of gay marriages. More recently, TIME magazine had transgendered actress Laverne Cox on the cover with the Title “America’s New Civil Rights Frontier”. So at this crucial junction this may not be the right Olympian to pass the “baton” to. What’s next, “Khloe and Bruce take San Francisco”, in it we get to see Kim and Bruce go shopping for Bras? I bet Gloria Allred thinks the Kardashian clan are publicity whores.

To gain acceptance from conservative communities, LGBT need to educate people subtly, not bust in with a sledge hammer. The perception by many is that the transgendered struggle is disingenuous. Drian Juarez of the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s Transgender Economic Empowerment Project says, “Much of the hostility toward transgender people comes from people who think the transgender person is trying to fool them. But Tran’s people’s appearances”, she said, “aren’t a costume…” For better or for worse, because of Jenner, we will be hearing a lot more about the Trans movement. So to help you navigate through the madness I have included a GENDER GLOSSARY:
Transgender– Identifying as a member of the sex opposite to that assigned at birth, and the desire to live and be accepted as such
Transvestite– (or transvestic fetishism) A psychiatric diagnosis for sexual interest in (crossdressing). Mostly hetero men who are ok with assigned sex
Transsexual– desire to live and be accepted as a member of the opposite sex, usually accompanied by a sense of discomfort with, or inappropriateness of, one’s anatomic sex, and a wish to have surgery and hormonal treatment to make one’s body as congruent as possible with one’s preferred sex.
Transman– A female to male Trans person assigned a woman at birth
Transwoman– A male to female Trans person assigned a male at birth
Trans airlinesSometimes a plane is just a plane
Eonists– Term invented by Havelock Ellis in 1925 to describe crossdressers. (see Cheveliar D’eon)
Hermaphrodite– In biology any organism that has reproductive organs assoc. as male and female
Intersex– a variation in sex characteristics including chromosomes, gonads, or genitals that do not allow an individual to be distinctly identified as male or female
Drag Queen– is a person, traditionally male, who crossdresses and often acts with exaggerated femininity
Androgyne– Possessing masculine and feminine qualities
Gynophile– Sexual attraction to masculinity
Androphile– Sexual attraction to femininity
Crossdresser– An Individual who prefers to dress of the opposite sex
Gender Identity Disorder– Also called gender dysphoria. A formal medical diagnoses, (see Transgendered)
Genderqueer– Gender indent that is not masculine or feminine
Gender-neutral- Opposed to any formations or assignments of gender
Non Binary– Not believing in two distinct genders
Agender– Possessing no gender or genderless.
Third Gender– Belonging to a third yet unnamed gender
Bigender– Belonging to two genders
Pangender- Identifying as all genders
Cisgender– Any non-transgendered person or adhering to assigned sex

  • Gender Margarita BlenderProduces intoxicant which increases likelihood of cross-dressing
  • Transgender fender-benderCar crash involving 2 or more trans people

Tired yet? All the terminology is out of hand- “Hey LGBT Ru Paul called and said your acting dramatic.” Americans were just getting accustomed to the right racial terminology for everyone and now this? It’s ironic that a group of people eager to disband prejudicial stereotypes is so insistent on labeling every minute faction.

There is no denying that all members of the LGBT community have had a tough road and transgendered folks are enduring more of the hardship now. A 2011 survey of more than 6,400 transgender people by the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National LGBTQ Task Force shows the real life struggles.

Click to access ntds_full.pdf

–More than 90% of the transgendered people surveyed reported having experienced harassment or discrimination at work, they are four times more likely to be living in poverty and have an unemployment rate twice that of the general population. Twenty five percent of Trans people have been physically attacked because of their gender status and hundreds are murdered every year. 41% had tried to commit suicide (dwarfing the general population figure of 1.6%) and up to 50 percent of transgender teenagers attempt suicide.

The community has been thorough a lot and the tide is changing but navigating from here in a palatable way is crucial. Bruce Jenner’s announcement, whether he excepts it or not, comes with an awesome responsibly. Nick Adams, the spokesperson for GLAAD is concerned. “When you make a spectacle out of guessing who is and isn’t transgender, it harms real transgender people just trying to go to school or work and trying to live their lives,”

If Jenner talks about important issues confronting the community, stays away from reality TV, moves into womanhood slowly (maybe getting a stylist) he could be an important spokesperson for the struggle of Trans people everywhere. If not things could get hairy

Conchita Wurst

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“Hot For Teacher”



Barbara Walters sits down with controversial couple Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau in an exclusive 20/20 special to air on ABC on Friday. 
The couple will mark their 10th anniversary with an exclusive interview with 20/20’s Barbara Walters this Friday, April 10.  Mary Kay Letourneau was convicted of statutory rape due to her affair with her 13-year-old student Vili Fualaau.